what am I suppose to do?

"if i lay here, if i just lay here...

would you lie with me and just forget the world?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FfZUxPF7AMI

less talk, less mistake-

"You see, to be on the safe side, applying the “less talk, less mistake” approach, especially if you aren’t comfortable with the topic of discussion. This is where it is best to just listen, stay agnostic and talk less."

Even if someone is confronting you, asking you something that you know when you answer it, someone would get offended. You better shut up.

Situation: You have a girlfriend, but both of you agreed not to tell anyone for some reasons then someone asked if you already have a girlfriend, you answered "none" even if you know your girlfriend is just around, listening. .. 

what do you think the girl would feel? of course, denied. . on the lighter side, if you answered yes, follow up questions would  occur and that would make the situation worst. 

“Talk and have the balls to back it up or else shut up!”

However, less talk, less mistake approach doesn’t apply when you know your principles are being compromised. You shouldn’t allow your fear of making mistakes hinder you from speaking what is on your mind or in your heart. Remember, if you feel a pang of conviction in you, speak up! Chances are you aren’t making a mistake.

i know.. i know.. ..

May 12, 2007 ..  when I told you I'm pregnant, I can hear your voice happy.. . saying you're already a "papa!". . we made plans and stuffs like that.. life went on... scared... because my family still didn't know. 


June. ..  you changed your mind.. .you want to abort our child.. but i didn't agreed, ..


June 11.. you greeted me.. and said. . .to just take care of myself. . and our coming baby . .thanking me for everything. . .. and that . . . . .you love me. 
after that day. . . i didn't hear from you. . . you deleted me from your friendster account.. ym.. and everything.. you even blocked me. . .i can't contact you anymore.. your family i think is keeping you away from me. you're always not at home. . 


i don't really know what happened . .you just vanished.. .a big question that until now i can't answer.


on the 6th month of our baby in tummy . .  i faced my family alone.. telling them i'm pregnant and that you vanished.


i failed them , .. .  the only girl in the family.. failed. . . 


after 9 months of our baby in my womb.. she finally came out. .. and I named here Ava Ich Alilee. . .


i posted her pictures in my friendster account and publicized it for you to be able to view it.. literally, you just viewed it.. you didn't even bother texting me.. or message me.. you know my number.. 


on Ava's 3rd month.. your cousin ..called .. and said not to wait for you anymore because you just got married. it was painful indeed... i didn't changed my number..  i didn't privatized my friendster account (di pa uso facebook). . .for you to easily contact me.. but you never did.


...until Ava's first birthday. . . you called.. and said... . "baka mamatay nalang ako, di ko makikita baby ko.." but by the time.. i was already mad at you . .. and i just replied... "oo nga!.. iniwan mo e. . .  and please put this words in your system! .. .  DON'T DARE TOUCH MY CHILD". . .after that.. you didn't reply..


but honestly.. after all these years. ..  there's still part from me waiting for you to come back and clarify things..  i can't move on with these questions in mind.. .  


i have hatred and bitterness in you and your family... so in case you forgot.. . . . . 


DON'T DARE TOUCH MY CHILD. . .  not even you nor your family, your relatives.. your pets... nor your neighbors!. . ..  


ASA . . ..  =P

"Getting dumped always makes a man stronger ,.. But then again men ain't meant to pursue happiness" - - - Jiraiya

but then again, I'm not a MAN.. so I can't relate to this. heheh!