PARAMORE NO MORE Josh and Zac. (T_T)

I'm sad. 

Josh Farro and Zac Farro are no longer members of PARAMORE.

This is Josh Farro's side of story:

http://joshnfarro.blogspot.com/2010/12/josh-and-zacs-exit-statement.html

and this is Hayley's

http://www.paramore.net/blog/announcement/

rumor's are circulating that Josh Farro's blog is fake but he actually confirmed that it isn't.

labyu

I have nothing to say except that,

I LOVE ERIC MUN. hehehe!

FAKING MYSELF

i was never really a happy person but i can't refrain from faking everything up; pretending everything's fine even if it's not. pretending the ambiance is happy, even if it's not. pretending i have money, even if i don't have even a peso, pretending i'm not hungry even if i am. pretending i have many friends, even if i don't have. i am a very pretentious person.

and yes, i have a major depression disorder. my mother didn't actually want me while i was still in her tummy because it was i guess Marcos time and my father got caught by the military and was sentenced to death because he was a media men but thank God it didn't happen.

i absorbed my mama's anxiety, depression, hatred and everything.

i started having depression disorder since i was in elementary. i am not close to my mama, to think i'm the only girl in the family. there's something between us. a big big wall. a HUGE HUGE HUGE wall.

my high school days was fine, it's just that i lived with my aunt in Surigao City. she treated me like her own daughter but something came up and the family decided to have my 4th year in high school in Davao City. my mama really is depressive sometimes. i don't hate her. never! she's my mother. it's just that we don't get along together well. there's a gap.

collegiate. i was with my papa in manila. my depression got worst. i wanted to be a psychologist but they wanted me to be a teacher. so i enrolled education that time. i wasn't really happy. so i became rebellious, i go home late knowing Manila isn't really a safe city. 

one symptom of having depression is  isolation. i do isolate myself from other people. piano is my bestfriend. i love music and my papa knew that. i can stay whole day alone inside my room with my piano. 

parents wants their children happy always, so when they saw me that time unhappy with what i'm doing, they allowed me to change course and since there's no BS Psychology at my school, I chose AB Music and that made me contented with life.

i am a lucky person, i am thankful that i have a family who can give me my needs and wants but i have an obsession of hurting them sometimes. i love doing things my own, deciding on my own, i love being myself and when everything fucks up, i run to them.

but i'm still unlucky... i was born confused, lost and uncontrollable. i can't understand myself. i don't know what i want, what i need. i feel helpless, i feel like i don't belong, i just wanted to end everything. if only i could turn back time, i would not have entertained negativism but it's too late and it's worst now. 

i had professional help before and she gave me anti depressant pills, but i guess it just made me worst. 

anti depressant pills really would make a person feel happy even if there's no reason for you to be happy. you just feel like happy and of course...always sleepy. hahah! just don't take it with alcohol because you'll hallucinate and see bush like a demons. hahaha!

 i really wanted to die but, i'm diverting myself now with blogging, i don't want to do foolishness as much as possible. God is with me.

still struggling, battling with depression.

i know someday i'll get tired of my everyday battle. 

as my friend Marso said, "you lost the war, don't lose the battle" .. i'll try..

but i'll fight the battle with white flag in my hand cause i know, sooner or later i'll wave it.

i'll knife myself.

i am Aia and I have no sense of direction.

i always do things ungrateful.

cry on me. cry on me.

i pity myself.

left alone.

no one here but me.

little girl, i'm not leaving you.

i will still be here forever until you grow up.

have boyfriend. get married. have a happy family.

everything bores me eventually.

i need a break.

i want a break..

wherever... forever...

I'M DRUNK

yeah! probably i am drulnl..

zzzzzzzzzzzzzz`

Words VERSUS Actions

I admit, when I get mad to death, I swear things sometimes I don't mean. Like, I WANT TO KILL that person I can't actually do it. Hahaha. Never! Such a disgrace to my name.

Just last time, I was terminated. Yeah right! but it's okay, it was actually my plan to leave to the company because of poor management. It just happened that I had 2 AWOL in a month because of these favors from "friends" but I never blame it them. It was actually my choice, to do the favor or not. But I chose to do it.

I'm so lucky I have friends who love me and believes in me. 

It was just last week when I told this person who asked favor from me that something will happen to their accounts, because he keeps ignoring my favor you know, I GOT MAD.. so MAD!

And after how many days, he got hacked. I was totally shocked! I might had said something but I did not do it. Creepy. Unbelievable. Just last May, when me and Davey had this heartbreaking fight, I cursed that he will not pass the Nursing Board Exam, and yes he did not pass the board exam. He's not bobo you know, maybe it was just karma, he's a heart-breaker. There was also this incident when a guy who made me cry because of his 'pambabastos', I told him 'masagasaan ka sana!', nasagasaan nga!. O_O

I don't wanna say things like that anymore, maybe the devil is with me, wahah!. no no no, i'm not a devil's advocate, never!

Hacking is not my thing. I can't do it. But for these accusations I have right now, I'd better keep quiet because if I do, it just means I am feeding their satisfaction. I am entertaining their little brains of happiness. Hehehe. I'm not affected anyway. And again, I MIGHT HAD SAID SOMETHING BUT I DID NOT DO IT. :)

Misty

2:30 a.m.

It's raining.

I'm sat here inside the taxi. On my way home.

Thinking about how life would be after my call center life. October 12 is my exit, still unofficial. Surely I will miss my friends there. I know it's not the end of the world, but things will never be the same anymore.

I will really miss them, all of them. The over breaks. The lates. The reprimands. The "Shemaiah, LOG IN!", the "ANO YAN? BAWAL YAN? (caught facebooking), everything.

Though Papa said, "never make decisions when you're crying" I still decided to go, I really deemed it necessary.

Sometimes in life, strangers teach you lessons. The trial and error thing. And from my experience, I learned something. Never prioritize other people especially when the favor doesn't mean anything to the whole wide world. For you'll only realize later that you've lost something.

And yes, financial and emotional crisis is on hand but still, "SMILE LANG", there will always  be a reason for this. I just have to SMILE AND PRAY. God will never leave me. I trust him.

I'm almost home by the way.

Always remember: 

IT WAS MEANT TO HAPPEN, SO JUST KEEP MOVING ALWAYS THERE'S NO PERFECT ENDINGS

Let me leave you this song.

Perfect Ending by Straylight Run

RAN ONLINE PH DANCE (slumdoll)

6/11

I love my job. Two thumbs up. But, not every company is perfect. Our supervisor is so great. No doubt. But the management sucks! Like, if you got one absent your allowance is forfeited, whatever reasons you may have. Take note! WHATEVER REASONS YOU MAY HAVE. Last June, I got sick for 4 days, even if I have my medical certificate with me, they still didn't consider it and forfeited my allowance, 1 day of absence is worth Php3000+, what more if it's 4 days. It's so disappointing.

There was also one time when we were requesting for CERTIFICATION OF EMPLOYMENT for our credit card application, the HR told us that we are considered SELF EMPLOYED because we are commission based, and that made our SSS, philhealth and pag-ibig SELF PAYING.

..and yes, I am working for PhoneTag.

Even though we are the highest paid account ever in the company, I don't really think this is fair. THIS IS SOOOO UNFAIR!

and for this, I had made my decision. I'll just finished the contract I signed and just pursue my business.

Dear GM Tsong

Dear Sir Bryan Dy,

Sorry po for intruding your personal facebook account.

Last Friday, September 17th nag event po kayo dito sa Davao yung sa Event Shop. Unfortunately, matagal sya nag open due to some technical issues that we understand naman po, not to mention na ilan samin naka absent sa work dahil sa kakahintay. Pag mahal mo ang isang bagay minsan nag sasacrifice ka diba? Hahha. Anjan na eventshop kaya di na po namin pinalagpas. Mahal po kasi namin ang RAN.

So, nag top up po ako ng 20k para sa 5 na account. BUT, ndi po ako nakapag purchase kasi bigla nalang nag offline (i don't know if it's the right term) which is so unfair tlga, the event was supposed to start at 1pm but it started past 5 na... then nag close mga 6:30. Isn't that unfair? Saktong pag upo ko pa tlga. It's not just about the EP na 20k, but it's also the 4 hours waiting there, and the absence at work kasi diba dapat 1-5pm =(

So anyway, I am writing you to appeal na sana po sa Tuesday agahan po ung pagbalik ng eventshop dun sa Quagmire, like morning (like, what the egames staff there said na sa Tuesday nalang uli). Morning po sana GM mg start na and sana po madaming station, kasi that time isa lang.

We are working people here who loves your game. Please love us too. T_T

Thank you so much for your understanding GM. Sana po nakuha nyo po ung punto ko.

Salamat po ulit and have a great day.

God bless.

-Aia <3

key of D major.

Never knew how I came here.
It’s like, abrupt.
I never really actually cared,
It was like 2 weeks before you quitted,
That’s when I noticed you.
Your hair,
Your eyes,
The way you talk.
Everything.
-I don’t know what happened.
It just happened suddenly.
Unexpected.
And now, you’re telling me you love.
It’s just too fast.
We need to deny ourselves,
From our friends,
It’s like forbidden.
You and me on 2 different worlds,
Social and hermitical,
Friendly and cold,
Welcoming and isolated.
-I don’t know what happened.
It just happened suddenly.
Unexpected.
But I love you and that’s the only thing that matters.

BOTITS ..

botits... it's where every VT agents eats.. . .

NO... NOT THIS ONE!

but this!.

John Mark, Madam (hiding) and Lovely

Gian and Jeff

Rhonnel, Kring, Jeff, Gian, Peter, Me and Sir

Jun Jun, Madam and Lovely

uhmm.. ME? =)

John Mark.. getting rid of Miss.. i don't know =)

Kring and Yul

Davey and Cathy

VT Saturday Hang Out!

I didn't actually posted something here about my work because I might say something that would result to breaking of confidentiality. hahah!

anyway, why VT? 

if you would noticed on my facebook account.. we always use the "VT" word..

VT... . .because that's our account's name. 

So it's Saturday and we received our salary the day before.

First, me.. Nea.. Fai.. and Kring² met at Gaisano Southmall.

   

We were supposed to have our facial, foot spa and pedicure that day (May 15th, Saturday) but none of it happened. 

Instead, we went to Carmela's son birthday....

and there we met our Sup sir Gary, Madam, Junell and of course. ..  CARMELA! the birthday boy MOM.

we ate there.. and of course videoke while waiting for this 3 handsome!

oppss..

then we went to Damosa because we were suppose to drink there but it was so crowded (because o Kamikaze, 6 cycle mind, bamboo and other..) that we ended up eating at Dimsum Diner.

Sir Garry

Nea, Me and Ryan

US!. ^_^

VT Girls =)

Junell and Me. (wth!)

Kristine Joy and Madam Shella

Ryan

of course.. a night going out without beer is a night... WASTED! hahaah!

oh well.. .. it's Ralph's trademark!

it's 2:00 and it's time to go home..

not to rest.. but to continue the INUMAN! hahaha!

THANKS MADAM SHELLA POLINAR and NEA LEE FOR THE PICTURES^_^ 

it's Mother's Day somehow I care.

it's 3:07 a.m. my time, May 9. I'm sat here in front of the computer. lights off.. nothing to do so.

*im so emo*

I can't believe this is happening again. Of all the people, why him? Grabeh!

 baba na nga self esteem ko.. mas lalo pang binabaan.

gusto ko nalang umiyak ng umiyak.

i should have not went there. sabi na e. T_T

malungkot... malungkot na malungkot  . .. . . 

I HATE BATTLING WITH CHAOS!!

HOW TO "KUPIT" RC COLA:

Step 1:  Observe when Mama is busy talking with friends, then grab 1 immediately..

Step 2: Go to a place far from Mama.

Step 3: then gulp as fast as you can.

Step 4: Go back to where Mama is and give her the empty bottle.

BABIES AND TODDLERS: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME!!

a day with NIKON D40

I admit,  . .I'm a frustrated photographer... It's only my father and my brothers who have the talent.. heheh. ..

by the way.. this is not the proper way to hold the camera.. ahahah!

--------

just a repost from my other blog.

pictures taken last July 2008.

uhhmm.. . .. many pictures to come.. hehehe.